If you haven't heard, I'm married.
It's been four months now since our magical wedding day. I honestly have a hard time believing that it all happened. Sometimes I have to look at the photos to remind myself because it doesn't seem real.
I'm in awe of the whole "married" thing. I feel like a student of it, almost. I read books on it, articles, watch shows about it. And because I'm a therapist and it's kind of my job to notice every little thing, I really pay attention to it. I pay attention to this new, living thing we are creating as we move forward in our marriage. Lately, I've noticed one thing in particular...
...and it's not just that my husband is really handsome and sexy. Because I knew that. I also can't promise you won't see this picture a million times, because I actually have it in two places in my house...
Don't judge me.
What I've noticed, what I am so grateful for, is the promise that we made to one another that we would be there in the difficult times. My theory is this: you get married for the bad stuff. When things are good, who doesn't want to be your friend? If you have money, if you're happy, if your job is going well, if you're healthy, if everything is sunshine and ponies (ok, maybe not ponies), who doesn't want to be there? Right? But when life sucks, you may have noticed that you tend to have less of an entourage. The people who are really there for the long haul won't move, but other people will. There's a noticeable shift until things come back around again to the sunnier side of life.
I've made no secret of the fact that I struggle with depression. My husband knows that better than anyone. Lately, it hasn't been easy for me. But what amazes me about the man I married is that even when I feel like the fungus that feeds on pond scum (if you didn't get that My Best Friend's Wedding reference, you have some movie-watching to do), he will look at me and say, "You're beautiful." Or tell me he loves me. Or will send me texts that tell me to come home and do my yoga, and not worry about cooking because we will just get pizza.
The other day, I looked at him and just started crying because I realized all over again that the way my husband looks at me never changes. He always sees me as the woman I am at my best, even when I am feeling my worst. Even when I feel like I am the lesser version of myself, he sees me as Wonder Woman. I am so grateful for that part of our love and our marriage. It's hard for me to believe that he's not thinking, "Here she goes again...", or keeping score of how many times I get into that "lower than pond scum" state of mind. I know that he has faith that things will come around, and that he knows who I really am even in the most difficult times.
And that, my friends, is a reason to get married.
|All the photo credit goes to Ashley McCormick Photography.|